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I read a prompt by howlnatural a little while ago and it was a nice distraction from my thesis so. I was going to actually stick to the prompt but then there were boys reciting poetry to one another and this happened instead? I wasn’t going to post it but apparently it’s your birthday? So I thought you might like it, because it’s inspired by your prompt, even though it’s not really what the prompt specified.
I Carry Your Heart
Stiles approaches his hopeless crush on Derek the way he approaches most things in his life; with a graceless lack of subtlety that astounds the majority of his friends as much as it passes straight over Derek’s oblivious head. It’s not much of a system, or a solution to the problem for that matter, but it seems to work fairly well. As long as Derek doesn’t catch on to how Stiles feels, Stiles is free to come and go from his apartment as much as he pleases, participate in some one-sided argumentative flirting, and pine as much as he wants without having to ever acknowledge his feelings or have them rejected by Derek.
Although lately he hasn’t been so totally convinced they’d be rejected. It’s hard to tell, because he and Derek have always had tension; it’s a firmament of their entire relationship. But lately the tension’s been shifting into new, unfamiliar, vaguely sexual territory, and like, so sue Stiles for trying to take advantage of it by playing up his- admittedly very real- oral fixation or wearing his shirts a size smaller than normal. Go ahead, sue him. It would be worth it for the occasional probably-not-imagined heated glances and probably-mostly-accidental innuendo that has resulted, at least on Derek’s part.
Derek, who is currently sitting at the kitchen table in his new apartment, scowling at a book with the face he usually reserves for archaic Latin. Which means something needs to be translated, which means Stiles is just in time. Derek speaks and reads Italian, Spanish, French, and, randomly enough, Turkish, totally fluently; he and Lydia have multi-lingual lunches every Thursday, but he hates Latin, okay, Stiles is pretty sure Derek would rather be impaled than translate Latin most days.
“Hey!” He drops his backpack on the floor and practically lunges at the table to snag the book out of Derek’s limp hands. “Want me to take over?”
“No-Stiles, you don’t-“
Stiles waves off the protestations, leaning over the book to start translating- except there’s nothing to translate. It’s in English, but it’s-
There’s a long, awkward pause, before Stiles clears his throat. “Uhm, okay, so… are you reading poetry?” When he looks up, Derek’s face is twisted into an uncomfortable grimace, as though he’s expecting Stiles to jeer at him, which- no.
*white person voice* so like are you…what like… cultur—like…what ethnic—like…what type of like—what are…where are you from?
overall looking at boys is a rly rewarding experience. talking to them, Not so much
names are so weird it’s like what noise should i make to get your attention
eat my ass
My mom said I had to eat my vegetables first
I respect that
Imagine Teddy getting a howler from Tonks and he starts to freak out but when he opens it, it’s like
TEDDY GUESS WHAT, THE WEIRD SISTERS ARE COMING TO TOWN. PACK YOUR THINGS, SON, I ALREADY TALKED TO MCGONAGALL AND SHE SAID IT’S COOL. MERLIN’S PANTS I’M SO EXCITED. DON’T TELL ANYONE OKAY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TELL DAD EITHER. OH FUCK, IS THIS A HOWLER? I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP.
And Remus at the teachers table covering his face to hide his laughter.
just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude
people might not want to be called dude
you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise
I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.
watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care
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